Bear in my house

Just re-posting the photo that disappeared from the original 2003

matt says:
newspaper printed a story without my information ALL LIES
Trip says:
???
matt says:
bear
matt says:
"falty locking system"
Trip says:
what did they print?

matt says:
irresponsible with trash, doesn't close door
matt says:
I called and yelled at the editor this morning
Trip says:
what di he say?
matt says:
he's going to bring the issue up at his staff meeting and would like to have someone talk to me later this week

-----Original Message-----
From: Peter Koczera, Jr. (Jumbo from Tahoe)
Sent: Sunday, November 16, 2003 4:36 AM
To: Trip Hosley
Subject: Hippie jokes

for Matt:

Q: What`s orange and looks good on a hippy?
A : Fire

Q: How do you know if a hippy has been in your house?
A: He`s still there.

Q: What`s the difference between a hippy and an onion.
A: Nobody cries when you cut a hippy.

Q: How many hippies does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
A: None. Hippies don`t screw in lightbulbs, they screw in filthy VW vans.

This one is great, national hippie hunting day:

http://www.fritzliess.com/movabletype/archives/000124.html

James DeLuca, Matt's roommate in Tahoe, takes copyright privleges, as he was the one who challenged death to get a shot of the big ass black bear!

-----Original Message-----
From: Jennifer
Sent: Friday, November 14, 2003 3:08 PM
To: Trip Hosley
Subject: RE: Matt and the Bear

Trip,

How the hell are you? I just got done reading about your brothers adventures. My brother is a hunter, has every gun known to man. You could call him a Soldier of Fortune wet dream. He said he'd drive up from Vegas & kill the bear for free...just give him a place to stay. Oh an Fuck the hippies, he'll shoot them too, as long as they tresspass...I am hoping he's kidding on that one!! Let me know. He would love to do it.

Miss you a ton. Let me know if you're in Vegas soon. We need to get drunk together again. I hope your house is ok during all of this. You should probably send this to Budweiser...they may pay for video for their next commercial!!

Jen in Vegas

-----Original Message-----
From: matt hosley
Sent: Friday, November 14, 2003 2:47 PM
Subject: Gun Shopping

Went gun shopping for the first time today and let me tell you in Reno it was fun. FYI you can't buy a gun in a state you're not a resident of.

findmuff

More IM with my Bro (Who just called from the Gun counter at WALMART in Reno)

matt says:
what do you think is a good bounty to put on the bears head
Trip says:
case of red bull
matt says:
I'm really thinking about buy the cover of the next tahoe times
matt says:
and putting a bounty out for the bear, just to piss the activists off

-----Original Message-----
From: Trip Hosley
Sent: Friday, November 14, 2003 1:56 PM
Subject: true colors

Leave it to Whelan to figure out how to use this situation to pull
sympathy ass!

All the best,
Trip



-----Original Message-----
From: Matthew Whelan
Sent: Friday, November 14, 2003 12:50 PM
Subject: Re: Fwd: RE: paint ball gun

Matt,

I would call the local paper and get you name and picture in lights.

Why?

It may OR may not help with the bear.

But in terms of findingmuff, you are now a local celeb. You are a PR agents
wet dream. You could have about 20 new dates by the time the ink hits your
door step on Sunday.

Go get 'em tiger er um bear or whatever!

-----Original Message-----
From: Amy Sarver
Sent: Friday, November 14, 2003 1:50 PM
Subject: RE: paint ball gun

Chef Ben.. you must have a good recipe or two in mind for bear steak, stew,
jerkey, or burgers?? I say we all go up to Tahoe for a big bear feast!

-----Original Message-----
From: Brian Walsh
Sent: Friday, November 14, 2003 1:15 PM
To: Meager Group of People; findmuff@hotmail.com
Subject: RE: paint ball gun

If that offends anyone, let me know! I will be glad to remove you from
the herd list.


-----Original Message-----
From: Laurakln31@aol.com
Sent: Friday, November 14, 2003 1:11 PM
Subject: Re: paint ball gun

actually, bear stew is the BEST!!! the meat melts in your mouth...
i use to live in a small town outside redding called french gulch...and one of my neighbors was a hunter...
sorry if that offends anyone :(


-----Original Message-----
From: Greg Navage
Sent: Friday, November 14, 2003 12:21 PM
Subject: Re: Fwd: RE: paint ball gun

if you guys kill it, i want some steaks!! and burgers! and jerky!!!

James (the other roommate)


>From: "Deluca, James" >To: 'matt hosley'
>Subject: RE: paint ball gun
>Date: Fri, 14 Nov 2003 12:03:42 -0800
>
>Yes Chad has one. Let's get the legal info on killing him because we
>may have to do it. Do you still have the permits?
>
>I shoot his ass I don't give a fuck. I'll sit on top of the house and
>take his ass down. Maybe we can get a tranquilizer gun and then slit
>his throat?
>
>I'm sick huh? At least we could then skin him.....how popular would we
>be if we killed, gutted and skinned a bear in our front yard?
>
>James
>
>
>
>-----Original Message-----
>From: matt hosley
>Sent: Friday, November 14, 2003 12:04 PM
>Subject: paint ball gun
>
>Do we know anyone with a paintball gun. I'm thinking mark him with a
>paintball gun then offer a bounty for the marked bear.
>
>matt


Nate…

I think you should take a lesson from the polor bear police. And shot him with a paintball gun first to be sure its "your bear"

Trip…

I Really like the “Screw you Hippies.�

Matt…

Here's what I'm thinking have you ever seen the movie Ransom? Full page ad in all the Tahoe newspapers.

"Hunter wanted to shoot large problem bear that has been breaking into my house and who was conveniently sprung free from his trap. This bear is a danger to my roommate and myself and has already charged at me and chased me out of my house. Will give anyone who can show me the dead carcass of my problem bear $400. I have permits its legal! Screw you hippies!"

findmuff


Christian…

Matt, I'm telling you right now... YATTA BUS. Bring it to the house, put some food in the back, let the bear go in through the door. Then shut it behind him.

...

Of course, you'll have to unload the bus first, but, hey, it's an idea!



Rachel, always helpful…

http://www.ananova.com/news/story/sm_622938.html?menu=news.latestheadlines

Maybe you can call them in to help the slacking Tahoe PD!



Greg Navage…

why don't you build a hippie trap on your property? put a hemp rag soaked in pitchouli in a cage with some grateful dead playing in the background. when you've got a bunch trapped, invite your friends over and for some taunting fun.

---------- Original Message ----------------------------------


Matt…

The trapper has now taken the trap away because he says there is no chance of the bear entering it again and fish and game pretty much just told me I am now my own.
I'm gonna shoot the first person I see come near my property.
findmuff




Laura…

okay, someone needs to make a movie on this!! you couldn't make up a story as good!! HILARIOUS!!!!! can't wait to here how it ends!!! btw, you deserve a nice bear rug as a reward!!! happy friday!!! -L


In a message dated 11/14/2003 1:27:00 PM Eastern Standard Time, findmuff@hotmail.com writes:



Nate…

Now this is just getting better by the day. Since you didn’t want to buy the gun for some strange reason. (School next door, might miss and hit a hippie neighbor). Go get a paintball gun and when you retrap the bear sit on the roof of the house with a case of beer and shoot hippies all day hell I will fly up for this! Now that’s what I call hunting!

nate


Matt…

I shit you not Trapper Jim just called me and said someone cut the lock off the trap and let the fucking bear go! The legend continues.

I HATE HIPPIES
findmuff

Posted by: For when the Shine Blog is down / 2:00 PM

I shit you not Trapper Jim just called me and said someone cut the lock off the trap and let the fucking bear go! The legend continues.

I HATE HIPPIES
findmuff

FROM IM....

matt says:
all this attention has made me have to actually think about my emails
Trip says:
they are awesome
matt says:
you're not going to believe this
matt says:
someone cut the lock and turned him loose
Trip says:
what?
Trip says:
where?
matt says:
in the driveway
matt says:
trapper just called and said the lock was cut
matt says:
so now he's taking the trap back cause he says the bear won't fall for it twice

Where to begin today's installment of the legend of matt and the bear? As many of you know by now I've been having some bear issues. So yesterday trapper Jim finally showed up with the bear trap. Essentially a large culvert with welded bars at one end, and a spring loaded door on the other. Trapper Jim then baited the trap with tuna fish and rotting apples. I told him the bear preferred hotdogs and budweiser but what do I know about what the bear eats, he's only been eating out of my refrigerator for 2 months! So now is where we get to the good part. Upon arriving home from work last night around 8pm I pulled into my driveway and hoped out of my car when I all of a sudden I hear this hippie beckoning me. Said hippie says "Dude, there's a really big bear in your house. We've been trying to get him out but he won't leave." So here I am bear trap set watching the fucker scrounge through my house looking for food. (I hadn't restocked the house so he had no luck.) So the bear kind of eyes the trap then eventually wonders off. Now I have a bear trap, no bear and as usual broken doors, open refrigerator, a trashed house, no food and no beer. Naturally I think to myself I'll go to the Dog and have some beers that always seems to attract the bear. A couple hours later having had enough to drink I stumble home to find no bear in the trap but a number of people sleeping/hanging out waiting for the bear to come. Drunk me then thinks wait I have tons of tuna(Trip's the only one I know that eats it) I'm going to make the trap irresistible. So I re-baited the trap with fresh canned tuna (always smart to wander around outside with fresh meat when there's a bear around) and was overjoyed this morning when I was rewarded with one huge ass bear in my trap. He's so big it looked like he got stuck half way in. Got you fucker you may have won all the battles but I won the war! So we proceeded to poke him with sticks and pee on him until he was enraged then we got some pictures. Just kidding I'd never poke him with sticks. You wouldn't believe the number of tree huggers that will stop by at 6am to see the bear and try to get you to let it go. My driveway was like a fucking circus this morning. People saying "poor guy all caged up", "you're not going to kill are you?" Meanwhile I'm thinking I'm the victim here people and hell yes I'm going to kill him. Anyway the war is over I should have pictures and video within the next couple of days. Although, the strange hippie is responsible for the video so who knows if I'll ever get it.

THE END (hopefully its the right bear)

findmuff

matt says:
got him!

From: Lorrie Hosley
Sent: Thursday, November 13, 2003 5:10 PM

Subject: bait

So, what's in the bear trap, beer? M

Matt Update….

Just thought you guys might be interested that I now have a bear trap parked in my driveway.(Yes I did say PARKED!) So I'm going bear trapping tonight and hopefully I'll have some good photos in the next couple of days. The bad news is they won't let me make a rug out of the bastard.

In other news it supposed to snow for the next couple days so you'd better start waxing those skis and snowboards.

findmuff

Matt Update….

Just thought you guys might be interested that I now have a bear trap parked in my driveway.(Yes I did say PARKED!) So I'm going bear trapping tonight and hopefully I'll have some good photos in the next couple of days. The bad news is they won't let me make a rug out of the bastard.

In other news it supposed to snow for the next couple days so you'd better start waxing those skis and snowboards.

findmuff



Even Mom chimed in…

… Mattie, did you make a nail mat for your bear yet? Did the F&G guy come
with a trap? I want to you be safe even though I can't help getting a
chuckle out of the situation.
Love you all bunches, M



COW…
I agree with princess, we need to setup cameras in the house to capture this...do you have a video camera?????

BW



KT’s fashion tip…

I say, shoot him with a tranquilizer dart, bleach him white, add back some black stripes and send him to vegas for sigried and roy.


From: Robert Link
Sent: Wednesday, November 12, 2003 11:08 AM
Subject: Re: and you thought your day was bad!


I say skin him and wear him out for Halloween next year!


Meghan Conroy wrote:


but wait a second, before you shoot him... Will you please take some
pictures? I think you could make up all the losses with the hysterical
shots of the bear making himself at home...

just a thought.


From: Christian Galindo
Subject: RE: and you thought your day was bad!
Date: Wed, 12 Nov 2003 10:33:02 -0800

Damn, I love that bear! Too bad his days are numbered!


Nat’s 2 cents…
yes, I agree with Kel, lucky break! now about that gun.......have you ever seen the Far Side where the antelope has a bull's-eye on the hunter? hhhhmmmmm! CLEAN YOUR HOUSE! You can't expect to get laid in a dirty house anyway!

-----Original Message-----
From: Kelly Huffman
Sent: Tuesday, November 11, 2003 5:43 PM
Subject: RE: and you thought your day was bad!
Yet there's a good side to this story. The Sheriff was kind enough not to ask you how you got your drunk ass home that night. Admission of driving is the same as actually being caught behind the wheel. See?? Good thing.

(Note to Mom and Dad: A careful re-read of the email will show that there was no actual driving, only cowering in the truck.)

From: Trisha Felts
Sent: Tuesday, November 11, 2003 4:23 PM
Subject: Re: and you thought your day was bad!
Imagine the cops side of this story!!!

Take Three….


I'd like to take a second and tell you a story about a Tahoe local we'll call "Matt." Last night Matt was inocently getting blind drunk at his favorite watering hole called the Naughty Dog.(Cut him some slack Monday Night football is a good excuse to get drunk). He proceeded to drink more than his fare share of booze and hit on a couple of those oh so beautiful Tahoe ladies with no success. His lack of success couldn't keep his spirits down so with a smile on his face and a bounce in his step he ambled home for a good nights sleep. Upon entering his house he looked up to find the BEAR eating in his living room. The bear then noticed him and being as surprised as Matt the bear decided to chase Matt out of his house. Despite being three sheets to the wind Matt can be rather nimble when needed so he sprinted to his car and locked himself inside. He then went to start his car and realized that he hadn't disabled the security system (damn new car) so the car wouldn't start. The bear meanwhile had left the premises so Matt decided to go to a friends house to call the police since his house was trashed. Having called the police Matt returned to his house to find the sheriff surveying the crime scene. The sheriff then says to Matt "We responded to a neighbors call that the bear was in your house but we locked all the doors so you should be alright for the night." To which Matt replies "Thank you for your help but when you lock the doors, the bear rips them off the hinges so now I just leave them unlocked. Oh, and by the way I don't own a key to my house so would you mind helping me break in." So then the police officer and Matt proceed to try and break into the house when all of a sudden drunk Matt remembers the lock box with a key on the outside of the house. However, being so intoxicated that he can't see straight Matt is unable to get the combination correct. After a half hour of trying the police officer finally gets the lock box open. So around 4am Matt's hypothermic ass can finally go pass out amidst the piles of trash inside his house.

Going to buy a gun!
findmuff

Bear in the house take two…

-----Original Message-----
From: matt hosley [mailto:findmuff@hotmail.com]
Sent: Friday, October 31, 2003 3:14 PM
To: Meager Group of People
Subject: Tahoe News Update
Its been dumping all day and there is already 3in of snow on my car in Reno!!!! Its supposed to snow 4 more days this week!!!

In other news, local legend findmuff has secured the rights to trap the marauding bear that broke into his house for the 3rd time in 2 months this Monday. Activists are expected to picket this event so if you happen to be in the greater Tahoe area next week stop by and bring your paintball gun for some target practice. Hippie's please be advised that this event will include rednecks, beer drinking and hopefully the creation of one bear rug.

Happy Halloween! See you all in a couple of hours.(If I can make it over the pass)
findmuff

This is the first one...

BW

-----Original Message-----
From: matt hosley
Sent: Thursday, September 04, 2003 11:40 AM
To: Meager Group of People
Subject: joys of being back
Well, just incase you all thought you were having a hard time reajusting to life in the real world I thought maybe I'd brighten your day with a couple of events from my week.

Tuesday: Wake up, drive to work, run out of gas, realize I forgot my wallet at home, stranded at my office until around 8pm when a friend of mine finally stopped by to lend me gas money. (Its alright this is early in the week the brain was not yet fully functional.)

Wed. Night: Having not yet fully recovered from BM sleep deprivation I decided to stay home for a quiet night of tv and video games. As usual I passed out on the couch shortly after midnight. Around 2am I wake up to my roommate screaming at me like a little girl. As I struggle to push the sleep from my eyes I realize there is a 600 lbs bear eating out of my refridgerator. (for those of you who have not seen my house thats about 8 ft away from where I'm asleep) I shit you not the bears shoulders where about the same height as mine. It was one of the largest brown bears I have ever seen. After a lot of yelling at the bear it finally left, leaving me with trash all over my house, no more hot dogs and no more beer. Yes the bastard drank the last of my beers and for that I'm buying a shotgun and hopefully I will be the proud owner of a new bear skin rug. Ahhh, the joys of mountain life.

Findmuff

Oh...let the games begin...